and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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