Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize