i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize