She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
So much rum. So many feels.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
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