He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Success! We fucked roommates!
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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