So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize