Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
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