Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
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You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
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My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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