dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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