You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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