So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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