Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
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