I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
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I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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