Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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