I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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