I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
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EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
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my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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