I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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