How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize