He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize