I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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