he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Randomize