Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize