The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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