My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Randomize