grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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