he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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