the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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