Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize