you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Your shirt... Was in my pants
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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