You don't have asthma, your pregnant
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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