I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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