Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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