it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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