its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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