I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
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Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
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I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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