The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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