the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
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My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
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Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
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