so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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