Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize