Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
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Naked Twister starts at high noon
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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