Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize