Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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