I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize