Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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