i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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