I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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