i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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