closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize