I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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