Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
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